Well, you have a tough one there. It's something that depends on the people involved. I don't think the way to start a marriage is to hide what you think will upset her. It's not fair to either of you if you start things with dishonesty.
When I first started dating my husband, cheap beer & chain restaurants were all he knew. I had to introduce him to my lifestyle & explain how it worked. I've learned what I think is normal, looks extraordinary to other people. Several years ago we took his mom out to eat to a nice place near her. From my perspective the restaurant staff behaved normally -- acquiescing to my desire to sit in a particular dining room, my interactions with the sommelier, the waiter's attention etc. My MIL was in awe & expressed that she'd never been treated so well. I was heartbroken for her because nothing about what was going on was extraordinary. When I asked my husband about it later he explained that it was normal to me & now him but it was extraordinary to most people. DH & I have been married 9 years & my MIL still comments that her son does certain things -- holds open doors; dresses up; travels; initiates conversations, sends me cards, buys me lavish gifts etc. because he'd never done those things before. But they were part of my expectations for a relationship (not the gifts but the gift giving); I communicated them to him & because I was specific he fulfilled them.
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